This is me.
A square peg in a board of round holes that we call society.
I can’t say when I first noticed it, I mean, really saw that compared to those around me every day I just didn’t quite seem the same. I guess I was too young to realise what that really meant. To be an odd shape or an oddball that could not slide into the space life reserves for the round pegs around us.
While they smoothly nestled into what was expected on the big board of life and met all those imaginary goals that someone says we should all meet as children. I struggled to understand why all the things we learned side by side just did not seem to absorb into my flat edges the way the round pegs seemed to get it.
I didn’t progress like they did, my growth goals, my milestones, and everything just seemed so hard because of my clunky and unrefined shape.
When I started to see it, I guess I became very hyper focused and self-aware of the differences and somehow magnified my own sense of insecurity and lack of ability to ‘fit’ in. Straight edges, neat corners, and very black and white about everything, while they were polished and smooth and flawlessly aesthetic.
They just seemed to know how to be.